Upsetting
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
 
She hasn't slept this well in years, and now the act is an important, well-thought ritual. Fastidiously cleaned sheets, cool glass of water on the nightstand. The shower before, with the nice soaps and extra bout of conditioner.

The alone time.

Some reading. Teeth thoroughly brushed. Pillow religiously turned for cool softness.

She is addicted to the ritual. Habitual.

No longer out late at night, remembering only the waking up. Smoking cigarettes, sleeping in lipstick. She shudders at the idea of going to bed without a shower. With cotton mouth. Without reading and taking some alone time for herself beneath the sheets.

She thinks she is growing up. Has grown up.

People say they notice a difference. It's true.
 
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