Upsetting
Saturday, May 31, 2003
 
There are about 14 million shoeless children in my neighborhood and about seven parents. And it’s obvious which children have vigiliant and purposeful parents: They are the ones with socks and shoes and clean shorts who giggle idly as the children without watchful parents splash in the permanent sewage lake formed where the alley bisects the boulevard. These little children laugh and cavort in the greasy black water, their diapers and t-shirts turned an almost-unrecognizable gray. They are the human brethren of the oiled birds of Alaska, circa Exxon Valdez.
 
Friday, May 30, 2003
 
U.S. Insiders Say Iraq Intel Deliberately Skewed
By Jim Wolf

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A growing number of U.S. national security professionals are accusing the Bush administration of slanting the facts and hijacking the $30 billion intelligence apparatus to justify its rush to war in Iraq.

A key target is a four-person Pentagon team that reviewed material gathered by other intelligence outfits for any missed bits that might have tied Iraqi President Saddam Hussein to banned weapons or terrorist groups.

This team, self-mockingly called the Cabal, "cherry-picked the intelligence stream" in a bid to portray Iraq as an imminent threat, said Patrick Lang, a former head of worldwide human intelligence gathering for the Defense Intelligence Agency, which coordinates military intelligence.
 
 
Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi plays guitar with soft plastic "tips" attached to the fingers of his right hand (the result of an accident that occurred in the late '60s in which the guitarist's fingertips were cut off by a sheet metal cutting machine).
 
 
Some of the most loyal fans I've ever seen are those of the San Diego Padres. Despite the fact that the current owner hoodwinked them by getting them to vote for a new stadium -- in the post-World Series haze of 1998 -- the fans have faithfully turned out these last five years.

The Padres, at least, for all their parsimony, have shelved the "Keep The Faith" promo of a couple years back.

Now, the fans are turning up at games with paper bags on their heads, a la The Unknown Comic and New Orleans Saints fans of yore.
 
 
idee fixe \ee-day-FEEKS\, noun; plural idees fixes \ee-day-FEEKS\:

An idea that dominates the mind; a fixed idea; an obsession.
 
Thursday, May 29, 2003
 
The objective of the Pentagon proposal to destabilize the Iranian government is based on the belief that the religious hard-liners are opposed by the majority of the Iranian population and any pressure would make them crack — a view that some analysts find dubious.

The debate over Iran comes after Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on Tuesday warned Iran against meddling in Iraq, and presidential spokesman Ari Fleischer described the Islamic republic's efforts to root al Qaeda leaders out of country as insufficient.
 
 
I highly recommend the Stephen Malkmus solo record, even if you weren't a fan of Pavement. I think my favorite song is "Jennifer and the Ess-Dog."

11. Jenny and the Ess-Dog

Jennifer dates a man in a 60s cover band
He's the Ess-dog, or Sean if you wish
She's 18, he's 31
She's a rich girl, he's the son
Of a Coca-Cola middle man

Kiss when they listen
To "Brothers In Arms"
And if there's something wrong with this
They don't see the harm
In joining their forces and singing along

See those rings on her toes Check that frisbee in his Volvo
It's a Volvo with ancient plates
They've got a dog she named Trey
A retriever with a frayed bandana around his neck

Trey has a window into their relationship
The baby talk voices
And the post class-a nasal drip
But it all seems to function
At least in her dog's mind

Let me out of here
Let me out of here
You got to let me out of here
You got to let me out of here
Let me out of here
Out of here
Out of here, out of here
Let me out of here ill hit the ground running

Jennifer left for school up in Boulder
And the Ess-dog came to visit when he could
But the strain was too much
They could not make up for distance
And the distance between their years

Neither one listens
To "Brothers In Arms"
The Ess-dog waits tables
And he sold his guitar
Jenny pledged Kappa and she started pre-law
And off came those awful toe rings
Off came those awful toe rings
 
 
Elektra Chairman/CEO Sylvia Rhone added: "The members of METALLICA, individually and collectively, rank with the best musicians in the business. After 11 albums and 20 years, the anticipation for their new studio album has exceeded all our expectations. Whether you're talking catalog sales, radio, video or simply word of mouth, the demand has been unprecedented. It's been a textbook marketing plan, and even better, with all of the exposure, we've been able to secure the songs from online piracy...knock on wood. The fan who buys the new METALLICA record will own one of the best albums they've made in their 20-year history."
 
 
By BERNIE WILSON, AP Sports Writer
May 29, 2003

SAN DIEGO (AP) -- Brian Lawrence took a three-hit shutout into the ninth before stumbling and handing the Milwaukee Brewers a 3-2 win on Thursday, the latest collapse by the NL's worst team.

The Brewers, who have the NL's second-worst record, took two of three from San Diego and have beaten the Padres five times in six games over 11 days.

It was the second time in three games that a Padres starter took a three-hit shutout into the ninth inning only to see the Brewers rally. Jake Peavy did it on Tuesday night, but was knocked out after allowing consecutive singles with one out, and the Brewers rallied to win 4-2.

 
 
A couple of weeks before the end of 1999 – Dec. 14, 1999, to be exact – an interesting series of events happened at a border crossing in the small hamlet of Port Angeles, Washington. That day, the last car off the ferry from Victoria, B.C., was a rented green Chrysler sedan driven by an Algerian man named Ahmed Ressam, a globe-trotting Islamist who recently had traveled from France to Montreal to Afghanistan and Pakistan to South Korea and Los Angeles and back to Canada before boarding the ferry bound for the United States of America.

A Customs official at the border crossing was a woman named Diana Dean. She questioned Ressam after his itinerary showed that he had come from Vancouver and was going to Seattle, a trip that would not, under normal circumstances, involve a ferry or Port Angeles. Inspector Dean later said, “After working on this job awhile, you get a knack for knowing when something isn't right.”

As he was questioned and agents searched his car, Ressam panicked, and he had good reason to: In the trunk of the car was 134 pounds of heavy-duty chemicals that Ressam planned to use in an explosive act of terrorism at Los Angeles International Airport. When the chemicals were discovered, Ressam tried to run.
 
 
I found a new hero today. His name is Aaron Feuerstein.

Aaron Feuerstein is the president and CEO of Malden Mills Industries, Inc., an international textile supplier of Polartec¨ apparel fabrics and home furnishing velvets. Malden Mills is the largest employer in its home city of Lawrence, Massachusetts, with over 3,000 employees and annual sales of $400 million. Feuerstein has earned the praise of Americans across the country, including President Bill Clinton, former U.S. Secretary of Labor Robert Reich, and Massachusetts Governor William Weld, for his dedication to his employees. When Malden Mills was struck by a devastating fire in December 1995, Feuerstein vowed to rebuild the business and announced that he would pay all of his employees for the next 90 days. As of January 1997, 85 percent of his employees are back to work.
 
 
I can't figure out why the family of "POW" Jessica Lynch is not allowed to discuss her ordeal. Who on earth could be harmed by the details coming forth? And how ironic is it that Jessica Lynch is from a town called Palestine?

PALESTINE, W.Va. - American POW Pfc. Jessica Lynch's parents said Thursday they are not permitted to discuss details of their daughter's capture and rescue in Iraq.

Greg and Deadra Lynch also said they couldn't comment on media reports that dispute military information released on Lynch's April 1 rescue from an Iraqi hospital.


 
 
DALLAS – Shareholders of Exxon Mobil Corp. supported company management yesterday and rejected environmentalist-backed resolutions on global warming and renewable energy and a measure to ban discrimination against gays.

Chairman and chief executive Lee R. Raymond defended Exxon Mobil's environmental record and said the world's largest publicly traded oil company wouldn't be pressured into making "social statements" that would hurt investors.
 
 
sempiternal \sem-pih-TUR-nuhl\, adjective:

Of never ending duration; having beginning but no end; everlasting; endless.
 
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
 
interstice \in-TUR-stuhs\, noun; plural interstices \in-TUR-stuh-seez; -suhz\:

1. A space between things or parts, especially a space between
things closely set; a narrow chink; a crack; a crevice; an
interval.
2. An interval of time.
 
 
In-a-Gadda Da-Vida We Trust
By MAUREEN DOWD (The New York Times)


By rolling over Iraq, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld hoped to deep-six the sixties.

The president was down with that. He never grooved on the vibe of the Age of Aquarius anyway.

Conservatives were eager to purge the decades' demons, from tie-dye to moral relativism, from Hanoi Jane to wilting patriotism, from McGovern to blaming America first, from Lucy-in-the-sky-with-diamonds to the Clintonesque whatever-gets-you-through-the-night ethos.

In their preferred calendar, more Gingrichian than Gregorian, American culture fast-forwards from Elvis's blue suede shoes to John Travolta's white polyester suit.

Whatever else has gone awry in the Mideast so far, the administration may have succeeded in exorcising American queasiness about using force, and any vestigial image of the military as "baby killers."

As Robin Toner wrote in The Times yesterday, trust in the military is brimming, up to 79 percent from 58 percent in 1975, according to Gallup.

The tactical efficacy and moral delicacy of American forces in Afghanistan and Iraq solidified a trend: the children of Vietnam-scarred boomers trust the government, and especially the military, far more than did their parents, whose generational mantra was "Don't trust anyone over 30."

As Ms. Toner noted, a Harvard poll found that 75 percent of college kids trusted the military "to do the right thing" either "all of the time" or "most of the time." Two-thirds of the students supported the Iraqi war, with hawks beating doves 2 to 1.

Mr. Bush runs a "trust us, we're 100 percent right" regime. So we've got a young generation that wants to take it on faith. And an administration that wants to be taken on faith.

The beginning of a beautiful friendship? Maybe. Unless the White House politicizes 9/11 so much it squanders all that belief.

Karl Rove's re-election strategy is designed to tug 9/11 heartstrings, and his ads will be heroic images of Top Gun chasing down the bad guys.

The president and his posse diverted anger over 9/11 to Iraq, and now they are diverting it to Iran.

The Bushies are playing up Al Qaeda terrorists they say are hunkered down in Iran, even as they overlook all the Al Qaeda terrorists crouching in countries the administration doesn't want to demonize, like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia. And the hawks have turned to grooming Iranian exiles, who are pumping out reports of secret nuclear labs. Sound familiar?

After the war, the triumphal administration bragged about its Iraqi, Taliban and Qaeda scalps, painting our enemies as being in retreat.

"Al Qaeda is on the run," the president said in Little Rock, Ark. "That group of terrorists who attacked our country is slowly, but surely, being decimated. Right now, about half of all the top Al Qaeda operatives are either jailed or dead. In either case, they're not a problem anymore."

But Al Qaeda, it became horrifyingly clear a week later in Riyadh, was not decimated; it was sufficiently undecimated to murder 34 people, injure 200 and scare the daylights out of Americans everywhere.

If Bush-Cheney '04's use of Sept. 11 begins to look like cynicism, then cynicism is precisely what it will produce. Officials should stop speaking about threats and triumphs until they know exactly what they are speaking about. They should lose their bewildering and unconvincing color code, because orange doesn't communicate anything to anybody any more.

They should agree, in a spirit of humility and true public service, to stop getting obnoxiously in the way of the release of the 800-page Congressional report that will provide what every American has a right to know about 9/11.

As Michael Isikoff writes in Newsweek, the Bush team does not want the public to pore over the president's daily intelligence briefings, like the one given on Aug. 6, 2001, at the Crawford ranch that dealt with the possibility that Al Qaeda might hijack airplanes. Or the parts of the 9/11 report that deal with our petroleum pals, the Saudis, and their recalcitrance in cooperating in the war on terror. The report, he says, "discusses evidence that individuals with Saudi government connections may have provided the hijackers aid."

The public should take its cue from Mr. Bush's beau ideal, Ronald Reagan. As the Gipper advised, "Trust, but verify."
 
 
The announcement drew criticism from Americans United for Separation of Church and State, a 52-year-old Washington-based group.

"Gale Norton is wrong on the Constitution at a minimum because the Constitution prohibits turning the public treasury into a church building fund and that's apparently what this administration now wants to do," said Barry Lynn, the organization's executive director.

"It's really a gross abuse of tax dollars to drop public funds into the collection plate of an active church."
 
 
SAN DIEGO (AP) -- As bad as they are, the San Diego Padres still found a new way to lose.
 
 
LONDON (AP) -- The U.S.-led "war on terror" has made the world more dangerous and left people feeling less secure, Amnesty International said Wednesday. ...

The organization said that more than 18 months after the war in Afghanistan ended, millions of Afghans, including returning refugees, are still facing an uncertain and insecure future.


This is probably irrelevant since the U.S. government could give a rat's ass about the rest of the world.

But we have no time to, they attacked us.

Okay, fuck 'em all, then?

That's right, brother, kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out.

What if you don't believe in God?

Then you gotta problem -- and you better get yourself fixed.

What about my religious freedom?

You better read it more closely. It says freedom OF religion, not freedom FROM religion.
 
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
 
"M-16" by The Descendents

Go shoot your M-16 (x 4)
I'm not going to live your American Dream!
"Army life is right for me
Kill to save democracy
Got a rebel in my sights
Money's worth more than his life."
So kill ... it's fun!

Shoot him you're better than him
Shoot him in the eye
Shoot him it gives you a thrill
Just like as a kid only now it's for real
 
 
The seventh characteristic of fascism:

7. Obsession with National Security - Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.
 
Monday, May 26, 2003
 
In 1978, Gilbert Baker of San Francisco designed and made a flag with six stripes representing the six colors of the rainbow as a symbol of gay and lesbian community pride. Slowly the flag took hold, offering a colorful and optimistic alternative to the more common pink triangle symbol. Today it is recognized by the International Congress of Flag Makers, and is flown in lesbian and gay pride marches worldwide. In 1989, the rainbow flag received nationwide attention after John Stout successfully sued his landlords in West Hollywood, when they prohibited him from displaying the flag from his apartment balcony. Meanwhile, Baker is still in San Francisco, and still making more flags.
 
 
While puppy mills are churning out litters, millions of unwanted dogs are dying in pounds and shelters. If everyone who wanted a companion dog were to adopt from a shelter instead of buying from a pet store, tens of thousands of dogs would be spared and the puppy mills would go out of business—preventing thousands more breeding dogs from enduring lonely, miserable lives.
 
Sunday, May 25, 2003
 
Comments from Frank W. Abagnale Concerning the book and the film, Catch Me If You Can.

I feel it is necessary to make the following statements concerning the book and the upcoming film, Catch Me If You Can. The reasons for these statements are to provide clarification and accuracy.

I wrote the book, Catch Me If You Can, more than 23 years ago. Obviously, this was written from my perspective as a 16-year old with the help of a co-writer (I'm now 54 and I sold the movie rights in 1980). I was interviewed by the co-writer only about four times. I believe he did a great job of telling the story, but he also over dramatized and exaggerated some of the story. That was his style and what the editor wanted. He always reminded me that he was just telling a story and not writing my biography. This is one of the reasons that from the very beginning, I insisted the publisher put a disclaimer in the book and tapes.

It has been reported that I had written $10 million, $8 million and $5 million worth of bad checks. The actual amount was $2.5 million. I was never on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted List as this is reserved for very violent criminals who pose a threat to society. All of the crimes I committed were when I was between the ages 16 and 21. I served time in prison in France, Sweden and the United States. In the U. S. Federal Court, I was sentenced as a youthful offender because of my age at the time the crimes were committed. Even so, I was given 12 years of which I served a total of 5 years. This was considered harsh punishment then and almost unheard of today.

I have been married for over 25 years and I am the proud father of 3 sons. When I was 28 years old, I thought it would be great to have a movie about my life, but when I was 28, like when I was 16, I was egotistical and self-centered. We all grow up. Hopefully we get wiser. Age brings wisdom and fatherhood changes one's life completely. I consider my past immoral, unethical and illegal. It is something I am not proud of. I am proud that I have been able to turn my life around and in the past 25 years, helped my government, my clients, thousands of corporations and consumers deal with the problems of white collar crime and fraud.

I know that Hollywood has made a number of changes to the story, but I am honored that Steven Spielberg, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks participated in the making of the movie inspired by my life. It is important to understand that it is just a movie . . .not a biographical documentary.

Frank W. Abagnale
September 3, 2002
 
 
This is the real-life guy Di Caprio played in the movie.
 
 
We rented "Catch Me If You Can," and it was pretty good, albeit a little long. But it's a pretty interesting story of the teen impersonator who keeps the Feds guessing.

What was most interesting about it, perhaps, that was it reminded me that Leonardo Di Caprio is actually an actor -- and a very good one. Since he's become such a tabloid figure, I almost forgot why he became famous.

In this movie, he's so good you forget it's him.

Salary

Catch Me If You Can (2002) $20,000,000
Gangs of New York (2002) $10,000,000 + Gross Points
Beach, The (2000) $20,000,000
Titanic (1997) $2,500,000
Basketball Diaries, The (1995) $1,000,000
 
Saturday, May 24, 2003
 
I think I have learned the chords to Thelonious Monk's tune "Well, You Needn't."

I'm on a mission to learn every jazz standard on the piano.
 
Friday, May 23, 2003
 
"The White House and the secretary of defense have reached an agreement on this."
 
 
I love this word.

harridan \HAIR-uh-din\, noun:
A scolding, vicious woman; a shrew; a hag.
 
 
These are men who look like Kenny Rogers.

Among the favorites are Abominable Kenny (Page 19) and Benny Hill Kenny (in Celebrities).
 
 
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

A pleasant reminder that Monday is a company holiday.

Subject to your supervisor’s approval, you may leave two hours early on Friday (for those who work 8 to 5, you may leave at 3; for those who work 7 to 4, you may leave at 2, etc.). Salaried and hourly employees alike will be paid for the 2 hours. If you are an hourly employee, please be sure to clock out today (this makes things so much easier for your supervisor!). Your supervisor will make the appropriate adjustment.

On behalf of the____ Management Team, we wish you a very safe and happy holiday weekend!

ENJOY YOUR TIME OFF!
 
 
patriot (pâ´trê-et, -òt´) noun
One who loves, supports, and defends one's country.


If you litter, can you still be a patriot?

Or just an American?
 
Thursday, May 22, 2003
 
On April 28, 1987 while traveling by a plane returning to Boston from Miami, Ozzy Osbourne bought three rounds of drinks and sang "Crazy Train" over the PA system.
 
 
Thursday was the birthday of Theodore Kaczynski, the Unabomber. He is serving a life sentence for attacks that killed three people and wounded 23 from 1978 to 1995. One of those bombs maimed Yale professor David J. Gelernter when it exploded in his campus office June 24, 1993.
 
 
There's a big e-mail going around work right now, and we're trying to select the worst movies of all time.

Thus far, the nominees include:

"Roadie," starring Meatloaf and Alice Cooper.

"Made," with Vince Vaughn.

"Prelude to a Kiss," the adaptation of the play, and starring Alec Baldwin and Meg Ryan. Wrote one coworker about this film: Even my mom hated it … and she loves everything and everyone.

"Bicentennial Man," with Robin Williams, who was funny in the 1970s.

"The Fan," with DeNiro and Snipes. It's easily beats "Caddyshack 2" as the worst sports movie of all time.

Someone just submitted "Van Wilder," which I not-so-secretly kinda want to see.

My dad just called and nominated "Spider-Man."

"Best Defense," with Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moore. A brilliant late entry.

 
 
Brendan,

I tried e-mailing you back three times, but I kept getting error messages. This was my reply:

Amen about your Kobe comments -- and the rest of the Lakers suck. Shaq single-handedly cost them another title.
And being a fan, knowing your team isn't trying -- and therefore shouldn't win -- somehow makes the loss easier to digest. At the end, I didn't give a shit either.
 
 
inveigle \in-VAY-guhl; -VEE-\, transitive verb:
1. To persuade by ingenuity or flattery; to entice.
2. To obtain by ingenuity or flattery.
 
 
Juvenile's bump single "Back That Azz Up" earned praise from an unexpected corner of the critical community during 1999. The cosmopolitan literary weekly The New Yorker named it one of the top singles of the year.
 
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
 
Darryl Dawkins:

White basketball is pick-and-roll, spot-up, guy got his toes together and he shoots. And white guys will box you out until the ball hits the floor. Black guys will jump over you. They had all kind of shake-n-bake and would do everything to entertain the crowd. Nowadays, people appreciate both styles of ball; but back then, they didn¹t appreciate when a black guy just played white ball. They just said, "Hey, man, ain¹t you got no flash in your game?"
 
 
As leading anti-terrorism experts point out, Al-Qaeda enjoys far wider support across all levels of Saudi society than either the West or the royal authorities are prepared to acknowledge. Indeed, the Saudi government has only recently abandoned its official position of denying that Al-Qaeda had any serious support base in the Kingdom, despite evidence that substantial funding for the group has its origins in the country and that no less than 15 of the 19 hijackers responsible for the 11 September attacks were Saudi citizens.
 
 
"At least two of the Sept. 11 attackers used stolen Saudi Arabian passports. Saudi Arabia is a friend of the United States and so using their passport makes it easier to get in at the border."
 
 
Q. During those five or six months at that camp did you receive training?

A. Yes, I received training.

Q. What type of training did you receive first?

A. I received training in light weapons, handguns, and small machine gun and a large one, RPG.

Q. Explain what an RPG is.

A. It is a small rocket launcher that is used in fighting in the mountains and in cities against tanks.

Q. Who supplied the weapons and ammunition that were used in the camp?

A. They used to buy it from the Taliban.

Q. Who is a Taliban?

A. The rulers now in Afghanistan.

Q. How long did you receive this light weapons training for?

A. When I first joined, yes.

Q. For how long?

A. About a month, I remember about a month.

Q. What type of training did you receive next?

A. I received training in explosives.

Q. What type of explosives training did you have?

A. How to make a charge, the types of explosives, TNT, C4.

Q. What is C4?

A. It's a plastic explosive, and there is another one that was called black plastic.

Q. Were you taught applications for the use of these explosives in that training?

A. Yes, we used them; we blew them up.

Q. What was that type of training called, the applications part of that training?

A. One involved the types of explosives and then one is called sabotage.

Q. What did the sabotage part of the training consist of?

A. How to blow up the infrastructure of a country.

Q. What types of targets were you trained on?

A. The enemies' installations, special installations and military installations, such installations such as electric plants, gas plants, airports, railroads, large corporations, gas, gas installations and military installations also.

Q. How about government targets?

A. Hotels where conferences are held.

Q. How long did you take this explosives and sabotage training for?

A. It was, I don't remember precisely, but it was a little bit over a month, a month and a few days.

Q. Can you tell us what your next training was?

A. I also got training in urban warfare.

Q. Describe in a few sentences what that training was.

A. We learned how to carry out operations in cities, how to block roads, how to assault buildings, and the strategies used in these operations.

Q. Did you receive training in tactics as well?

A. Yes.

Q. What types of things are you talking about were you taught in tactics?

A. How to assassinate someone in an operation.

Q. What were you taught?

A. A person, for example, that you plan to assassinate, you would first observe him, surveil him, you watch when he comes in and leaves, and you find where he lives and you find out where his vulnerabilities are, and that is the place where you pick.

Q. Did you receive tactics training in connection with explosives?

A. Yes.

Q. What were you taught in connection with explosives?

A. First, how to surveil a place. When you go to a place you would wear clothing that would not bring suspicion to yourself, you would wear clothing that tourists wear. You would observe or you would also take pictures.

Q. Was security also taught at the camp?

A. Yes.

Q. Can you tell us generally what was taught about security?

A. One is to preserve your secrets. And when you work in a group, each person knows only what he is supposed to do, not more, to preserve your secrets. Avoid the places that are suspicious or will bring suspicion upon you, such as mosques. Avoid wearing clothing that would bring suspicion upon you. When you speak on the phone, speak in a very natural, normal language, or in a for foreign language.
 
 
'In terms of Islamic extremists in Canada,' says David Harris, 'they regard the proximity of Canada to the U.S. as making Canada kind of an Islamic-extremist aircraft carrier for the launching of major assaults against the U.S. mainland.'"
 
 
Before the long weekend begins, we will be cleaning out the refrigerators in the 1st floor kitchens tomorrow. Therefore, if you have items you DON'T want thrown out, clearly mark your name on them. Otherwise, they are "history!"
 
 
You are so...so...soooo...you know, that jazz thing.
 
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
 
We walk across the street at a pace that would make you think we were trying to not get hit by a car, even though the street is empty. There is no one around. We are not being chased.

I take Allison’s hand again, in my right, and guide her toward 11th Avenue. We walk down 11th against traffic. It’s a one-way street, so we see every car coming our way. Nothing, or no one, can drive upon us from behind. This I find pleasing. We go left on K Street in silence. At 12th Avenue, we see two different lights coming at us, slowing down about a block away, waiting for a stoplight.

It’s the trolley.

We jog across the street and get ourselves in position at the stop. A pack of homeless people rustle and murmur against a dead building. Something about a cigarette, some change, a veteran. Uncharacteristically, I take one of Allison’s smokes out of my jacket and give it to a guy so charred from living on the street it’s impossible to tell his ethnicity. He’s immersed in cardboard and a blanket.

Need a light, too? I ask.

He grumbles something.

What? I say, pulling out the lighter and illuminating his face with the flame.

The trolley is upon us, it’s doors open. Inside is weird dream light. Allison goes first. As I put my right foot on the first step, I hear the bum behind me. I turn to see him standing now, the ember of the cigarette the only thing on him that looks alive.

He mumbles.

I say, What?

And then he takes one step forward, pushes his chin out toward the trolley. His voice sounds like scraping metal; it is unmistakable, clear as glass. His eyes glow black.

Your father never loved you, he says.

And the doors close.


 
 
The Padres have now lost 20 of 23.
 
 
The San Diego Padres have lost 19 of their last 22 games.
 
 
Cold War, here we come -- again.

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said on Tuesday low-yield nuclear weapons may be useful in destroying deadly chemical and biological weapons stocks as he pressed Congress to lift a 10-year ban on research and development of smaller nuclear arms.

The Senate was debating whether to allow research on low-yield weapons with about one-third the force of the bomb dropped on Hiroshima in World War II, which Democrats said would signal the United States was pursuing new battlefield weapons and would spur an arms race
 
 
The original text of this message contained prohibited content and was quarantined. If you feel this is in error, please contact the help desk.

I got this back from my Systems Administrator because I sent an Onion article that contained the word "fuck."

Here's the article:

Systems Administrator Would So Fuck New Trainee

TUCSON, AZ—Speaking in confidence to coworker Brian Panos, Barton Financial Group systems administrator Tim Kreutzer revealed Tuesday that, given the chance, he would "so fuck" new office trainee Lisa Hartig, 23. "Tim was staring at Lisa from across the office floor when he dropped the bombshell that he would so fuck her," Panos said. "Obviously, I was stunned. I mean, how often do you come across a balding 51-year-old tech professional who's willing to sleep with a nubile blonde? Wow."
 
 
sapient \SAY-pee-uhnt\, adjective:
Wise; sage; discerning.
 
Monday, May 19, 2003
 
From the Dixie Chick:

As a concerned American citizen, I apologize to President Bush because my remark was disrespectful. I now realize that whoever holds that office should be treated with the utmost respect.

I hope everyone understands, I'm just a young girl who grew up in Texas. As far back as I can remember, I heard people say they were ashamed of President Clinton. I saw bumper stickers calling him everything from a pothead to a murderer. I heard people on the radio and tv like Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson, Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott bad mouthing the President and ridiculing his wife and daughter at every opportunity.

I heard LOTS of people disrespecting the President. So I guess I just assumed it was acceptable behavior.

But now, thanks to the thousands of angry people who want radio stations to boycott our music because criticizing the President is unpatriotic, I realize it's wrong to have a liberal opinion if you're a country music artist. I guess I should have thought about that before deciding to play music that attracts hypocritical red necks.

I also realize now that I'm supposed to just sing and look cute so our fans won't have anything to upset them while they're cheating on their wives or getting in drunken bar fights or driving around in their pickup trucks shooting highway signs and small animals.

And most important of all, I realize that it's wrong for a celebrity to voice a political opinion, unless they're Charlie Daniels, Clint Black, Merle Haggard, Barbara Mandrell, Loretta Lynn, Ricky Skaggs, Travis Tritt, Hank Williams Jr, Amy Grant, Larry Gatlin, Crystal Gayle, Reba McEntire, Lee Greenwood, Lorrie Morgan, Anita Bryant, Mike Oldfield, Ted Nugent, Wayne Newton, Dick Clark, Jay Leno, Drew Carey, Dixie Carter, Victoria Jackson, Charleton Heston, Fred Thompson, Ben Stein, Bruce Willis, Kevin Costner, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Bo Derek, Rick Schroeder, George Will, Pat Buchanan, Bill O'Reilly, Joe Rogan, Delta Burke, Robert Conrad or Jesse Ventura.

God Bless America,
Natalie
 
 
This is a quick telling of the story of the spy who fell from the skies.
 
 
"George Bush has unleashed a new McCarthyism that, under the cloak of a time of crisis and peril, has vilified and questioned the patriotism of those who have policy and political differences with him and his administration."
 
 
Defense Contracts
Source: U.S. Dept. of Defense

(in thousands of dollars)
The 50 companies (including their subsidiaries) receiving the largest dollar volume of prime contract awards from the Department of Defense during fiscal year 1995.

Lockheed Martin $10,482,787
McDonnell Douglas 8,020,868
Tenneco 3,709,810
General Motors 2,992,929
Northrop-Grumman 2,913,072
Raytheon 2,890,409
General Electric 2,103,657
Loral 1,967,305
Boeing 1,780,287
United Technologies 1,774,835
General Dynamics 1,695,254
Litton Industries 1,237,209
Westinghouse Electric 1,225,438
Rockwell International 1,209,971
Textron 1,069,000
Science Applications 931,391
TRW 866,963
Computer Sciences 656,135
ITT Industries 647,888
GTE 633,070
Fulcrum II Ltd. Partnership 563,480
Texas Instruments 554,389
Tracor 510,465
AlliedSignal 503,032
FMC 485,551
Alliant Techsystems 472,974
Exxon 471,859
Olin 468,753
Dyncorp 448,409
Stewart & Stevenson Srvcs. 442,144
Black & Decker 434,060
IBM 425,566
AT&T 422,289
Unisys 393,315
Carlyle Partners Lev. Cap. 386,706
Boeing Sikorsky Comanche Team JV 372,556
Mitre 370,277
Rolls-Royce PLC 350,469
MIT 343,644
Chrysler 340,266
United Defense LP 319,667
Logicon 317,293
Federal Express 302,221
Honeywell 300,760
OHM 289,231
Motorola 286,350
Halliburton 276,180
Harris 275,654
Johns Hopkins University 274,258
Draker Charles Stark 271,525
 
 
It probably shouldn't, but this headline cracks me up:

SUICIDE BOMBER ATTACKS ISRAELI SHOPPING MALL

Attacks a shopping mall?
 
 
Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon insists that the Palestinians make the first move. He was to have discussed his objections with Bush this week, but canceled his trip after Sunday's bus bombing. The Palestinians have accepted the plan as is.
 
 
It's coincidental to me that this patronizing sellout cocksucker is resigning because I was just -- over the last week -- messing around with writing a song about him.

These are my favorite grafs of the story:

A cautious and calibrating press secretary, Fleischer has been the public voice of the presidency through the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, the war in Afghanistan and the Iraq war, loyally putting the best spin on events. He frustrated reporters by constantly refusing to answer the toughest questions and sometimes irked his White House colleagues by pushing for access behind the scenes — often without success.

His meatless pronouncements on Bush policy are generally in keeping with a White House that keeps a tight lid on information. Though he is not as close to the president as other top aides, Fleischer has earned Bush's respect by taming what the president considers to be a hostile press corps.
 
 
I think when people go out of their way to mention what music they are listening to it's mainly to show how hip their taste is. That said, I will not print what I am listening to right now.

I will, however, tell you that it's very good.

I hope it's sunny where you are.
 
Sunday, May 18, 2003
 
These are the songs by The Joe Smiths:

1. TERRORISM IS NOT YOUR FAULT
2. SADDAM HUSSEIN
3. GONE TO GET DRUNK
4. TOWN WHERE I LIVE
5. GET THE GIRL
6. CHEESY LITTLE POP SONG
7. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF PIAZZA’S GAY
8. THINK ABOUT YOU
9. NO BAD RELIGION SONG CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE COMPLETE
10. BOUGHT A HUMMER
11. TEXAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE
12. CLEVELAND
13. TOO DAMN WASTED TO FEED THE DOG

This is an e-mail about the songs:

listened to the tape. i found the last two (bad religion and gone to get drunk) the catchiest. If I were to play the name the influences game the first three that I hear are: NoFx, Pistols, and the Clash.
 
 
The Padres have lost five straight and 18 of their last 21. They remain 2½ games above Detroit for the worst record in the majors. Brian Lawrence, their opening day starter, lost his fifth straight decision.
 
 
There is only one team in Major League Baseball worse than the San Diego Padres: the woeful Detroit Tigers.
 
 
I've been told that Mike Ness buys guitars, autographs them, and then sells them on eBay as "Mike Ness guitars," so he should understand why I wanted to download "Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell" from the newsgroups. Unfortunately, the first tune, "Cold Feelings" was butchered in the process, so maybe that's what I get.

You ask, my boy, my boy, tell me where did you sleep last night?

The answer is right here. That's right, I didn't sweat the non-smoking atmosphere. I haven't had a cigarette in nearly five months.

And this is where we ate.

One of the most chronic steaks I've ever had.

 
Saturday, May 17, 2003
 
Oh my gosh, I can't describe my euphoria at copying a Metallica CD from a fellow Internet user. I long ago bought and lost my copy of "Master of Puppets," and finding another Metallica fan online and copying that person's sound files of the great record is very satisfying.

The Internet is truly great for music fans.
 
Friday, May 16, 2003
 
On Thursday Bush released the financial disclosure form for himself and his family for 2002, reporting a net worth of at least $8.8 million and up to $21.9 million.
 
 
THE RHYTHM SALON FEATURING CRAIG HARRIS AND THE NATION IMAGINATION APPEARING AT SWEET RHYTHM FRIDAY MAY 30TH AND SATURDAY MAY 31ST

Three sets 8pm 10pm and MIDNITE

SWEET RHYTHM is located at 88 Seventh Avenue South between Grove AND BLEEKER

CRAIG HARRIS - TROMBONE
CARLA COOK, HELGA DAVIS, LATANYA HALL - VOCALS
BAHNAMOUS BOWIE - KEYBOARDS
CALVIN JONES - BASS
TONY LEWIS - DRUMS
ABDOUR MBOUP, CHIEK MBAYE - PERCUSSION
 
 
The Fabulist
Bush's absurd obsession with small business.
By Michael Kinsley

President Bush, of course, is not a junior reporter for the New York Times. So maybe it doesn't matter if he makes up stories and puts them in the newspaper. After Ronald Reagan, it's almost a presidential tradition.

Bush was in New Mexico on Monday with a new answer to critics who complain that his tax cut proposal favors the rich. In two words: small business. "Most new jobs in America are created by small businesses." Therefore tax cuts "must focus on the entrepreneur." And thence to more familiar bromides: It's not "the government's money," it's "your money"; "our greatest strength" is "our individual citizens"; criticism is "just typical Washington, D.C., political rhetoric, is what it is."
 
 
Think about nothing at all but the kiss you're kissing. Better yet, don't think.

Start with lips either just slightly parted or closed. Don't start wet, with your mouth gaping open and your tongue poking out.

Relax your lips, but don't let them mush up.

Kiss as though you have all the time in the world.

But don't prolong a kiss beyond its natural life.

Wherever your hands are, use them; slowly increase pressure or graze gently.

But in non-erotic zones, like the back, the shoulders, the arms.

Don't turn every kiss into a sexual act or overture.

Once in a while, pretend it's the first time you've ever kissed this person.

Open your eyes (IF you can stand the intimacy).

Kiss your partner's face in places other than the lips.

Two or more little kisses are a nice way to warm up to big kisses.

Enjoy several long, slow kisses before moving into nibbles, licking, and ... whatever.

Add another "little kiss" or two after the big one. Kissing doesn't begin and end abruptly.

Attend to a graceful finish -- a soft, smoochy ending is much, much nicer than a dismissive smack.
 
 
Do you believe this entry from the All Music Guide?

Along with being a multi-talented musician and an excellent song writer, Phil Collins is one of the best live performers in rock. His songs usually stay true to their original form, he puts plenty of fire into his vocals, and best of all...every one of his in-concert qualities transfers well into album form.
 
 
Man, one of my boys lost his job this morning, and I can't shake the blues I have for him.
 
 
hugger-mugger \HUH-guhr-muh-guhr\, noun:
1. A disorderly jumble; muddle; confusion.
2. Secrecy; concealment.

adjective:
1. Confused; muddled; disorderly.
2. Secret.

adverb:
1. In a muddle or confusion.
2. Secretly.

transitive verb:
To keep secret.

intransitive verb:
To act in a secretive manner.
 
 
I might have to rent this movie this weekend.
 
Thursday, May 15, 2003
 
Tony Pierce is very grateful today.
 
 
My man Chris Robinson is courtside at Staples tonight with his actress wife.
 
 
An e-mail:

My interest in hockey wanes drastically once the Flyers make their annual golf plans, though I hope the Devils' infliction of boredom on the world ends in this round.
 
 
"We were surprised. Why do this? There was no military, there were no soldiers in the hospital," said Dr Anmar Uday, who worked at the hospital.

"It was like a Hollywood film. They cried 'go, go, go', with guns and blanks without bullets, blanks and the sound of explosions. They made a show for the American attack on the hospital - action movies like Sylvester Stallone or Jackie Chan."


It seems there're differeing opinions on how young Jessica Lynch was recovered in Iraq.
 
 
Wet Dog
Music & Lyrics copyright 1990 Pounded Clown

Wet Dog
(woah-oh-oh-oh)

Wet dog
stay outside today

Wet Dog
you cant come inside to play

Wet Dog
outside you gotta stay

Wet Dog
you cant come inside to play
 
 
When tragedy strikes people chasing the dream of a better life, it makes my heart bleed.

It was a refrigerated tractor-trailer, normally used to transport perishables like milk or watermelons. Except the refrigeration apparently wasn't on, so the insulated walls became an airless oven, stifling about 85 immigrants crammed inside, cooking them alive for four hours.
 
 
From the Big Man at My Company, late last week. At the end of a we're-doing-great e-mail:

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m heading to the Billy Graham Mission tonight at Qualcomm to say a few extra prayers … I’m more of the “count our blessings” type.

Have a great day, you earned it.
 
 
The world record for the most guitarists playing in unison for the longest amount of time was broken in 1989 at South Carolina's Peach Festival, where 432 guitarists played a 30-minute version of "Louie Louie."
 
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
 
The legendary French swing guitarist Django Reinhardt was only able to use two fingers on his fretting hand, making his technical virtuosity all the more remarkable.
 
 
The fuck is this all about?
 
 
The U.S. diplomat in Riyadh said al-Qaeda recruiters had been able to tap into economic disparities of the oil-rich kingdom to beef up their membership.
 
 
This is how kids handle their problems at the university I attended.
 
 
Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
 
 
I'm sure this charge'll stick.

BRUSSELS, Belgium (AP) - A left-wing candidate in Belgium's parliamentary elections lodged a war crimes complaint Wednesday against U.S. Gen. Tommy Franks, the commander of American forces in Iraq.
 
 
eleemosynary \el-uh-MOS-uh-ner-ee\, adjective:
1. Of or for charity; charitable; as, "an eleemosynary institution."
2. Given in charity; having the nature of alms; as, "eleemosynary assistance."
3. Supported by or dependent on charity; as, "the eleemosynary poor."
 
 
This disaster caused thousands of people to be late or miss work today, and it also prevented some people from posting early-morning entries to God's Lonely Man.

The Joe Smiths demo was remixed this morning -- thanks to the traffic mess -- and the 13 songs are now compiled on one cassette. I'm about to give them the real test by listening to them in the car as I go south on Interstate 15.

You'll be kept abreast of any further developments. Thanks for stopping by.
 
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
 
The Lakers got the result they deserved, and I was a fair-weather fan who turned it off midway through the third quarter, when they were down by about 100. As I returned from taking the dogs to the pet store, I got a call from a friend who told me that the Lakers were only down by two with 14 seconds left and they had the ball.

So, I got to turn on the TV and see Robert Horry's potential game-winning three-pointer rattle out.

Shit.

Shaq only had 20 points.
 
 
Not only did I begin the day in a great mood, but my frame of mind has even improved as the day went along.

I only hope that I don’t let it all slip away and turn sour if the Lakers lose their game against San Antonio tonight.

Then again, as my folks might say, if that’s the biggest of my problems …

But seriously, it would be much easier on my constitution if the team in purple and gold just won the game.
 
 
Billionaire Mark Cuban was asked this question:

What is the key to recognizing a profitable business opportunity?

This was his answer:

"Knowing the industry very well. Most people think it's all about the idea. It's not. Everyone has ideas. The hard part is doing the homework to know if the idea could work in an industry, then doing the preparation to be able to execute on the idea."
 
 
In 1979, Dead Kennedys frontman Jello Biafra ran for mayor of San Francisco. Although many viewed this as a publicity stunt, Biafra finished a respectable fourth in the poll.
 
 
The Spurs shot 62 free throws to L.A.'s 36 in the first two games of the series, with an 85-50 disparity in the Lakers' favor in the two Staples Center games.
 
 
This is in Microsoft Bookshelf.

shitfaced

shitfaced (shît´fâst´) adjective
Obscene.
Intoxicated; drunk
 
 
Be Smart Bet Smart

For many people betting on the horses is exciting and entertaining. They make thoughtful decisions about spending time and money. Here's how to wager responsibly:

Balance playing the horses with other leisure activities.

Play the horses for entertainment not as a way to make money.

Do not "chase" losses. Accept them as the cost of entertainment

Use extra income, not money needed for everyday expenses.

Set a time limit.

Responsible betting is probably what most people do on a daily basis. However, for some people, wagering or gambling becomes a serious problem, which they are unable to control.
 
 
The San Diego Union-Tribune home page just gave me four pop-up windows. That seems a little excessive for a paper that is comprised mostly of wire service copy. Even the L.A. Times, which is noted for its fine content and aggressive pop-ups, doesn't bombard you with four at once.
 
 
Good morning,
You have made a change to either your tax or banking information in iEmployee. As I stated in the training, these are the only two instances in which I still require paper back up. By law, we must have current paperwork with a signature on file for these kinds of changes.
Please return the appropriate paperwork no later than 11:00 am today if you want your change(s) to show onl your paycheck this Friday.
I've attached links to the forms below.
Thanks a bunch!
 
 
comity \KOM-uh-tee\, noun:
A state of mutual harmony, friendship, and respect, especially between or among nations or people; civility.
comity of nations, noun:
1. The courteous recognition by one nation of the laws and institutions of another.
2. The group of nations observing international comity.
 
Monday, May 12, 2003
 
I took a break from stealing music from the Internet, but I did find an LP -- that a friend downloaded a week ago -- that I wanted to let you know about. It's the new Macy Gray record, and it's called The Trouble With Being Myself.

I'm telling ya, it's so ass-shakin' it'll make you enjoy doing the dishes.

I checked half.com, and they didn't have any copies, so if you would like me to burn a CD copy of it for you, e-mail at the address in the top-right corner.
And remember to include a mailing address.

 
 
Holy cow, we got a new computer today, and the thing is amazing. Aside from this here page, I don't use the Internet to my own end that much, but with this new machine, I am determined -- with all apologies (FU's) to the music industry -- to fill in all my old records that were lost, stolen or never actually purchased.

My friend showed me how to use the newsgroups this afternoon, and I just burned my first CD, I Don't Want to Grow Up by The Descendents.

It must've taken less than five minutes, and even though the album is less than half an hour, that is a really fast burn time.

Now I think I'm going to go look for A Tribe Called Quest's Midnight Marauders and some Black Crowes bootlegs.

Also, thanks for stopping by today. It means a lot.


 
 
There are two Smokey Bear stories, one is a story book version and the other is the true life story of Smokey Bear. This is the true life story of Smokey Bear.

On May 6, 1950 a fire started in the Lincoln National Forest in the state of New Mexico. This fire was named the Capitan Gap fire. As the fire grew in size so did the small army of fire fighters. The terrain was so ruff that much of the fire fighting and fire line construction was done by hand crews. On the morning of May 8th, a hand crew was ending it's night shift of fire line construction when "the men heard an eerie whining. At first faint and distant, the whining grew louder as it approached....finally a tiny chocolate-colored black bear cub poked through dense underbrush, picking his way down the steep hill."
 
 
IN A HIERARCHY, EVERY EMPLOYEE TENDS TO RISE TO HIS LEVEL OF INCOMPETENCE.
 
 
I guess it's a sign of the times when you read articles like this and press CONTROL F to search for the word "Muslim" in the text.
 
 
supererogatory \soo-puhr-ih-ROG-uh-tor-ee\, adjective:
1. Going beyond what is required or expected.
2. Superfluous; unnecessary.
 
 
I've never considered myself one of those guys, but I think I'm becoming one after thinking today, You really do feel better when you go to the gym before work.

Oh well.

By the way, your record collection is complete without this recording.
 
Sunday, May 11, 2003
 
Forgive the few updates this weekend, but The Joe Smiths have been busy recording. Backup vocals are being done now.

Thanks for your patience.
 
Saturday, May 10, 2003
 
It's a wonderful world, and I'm walking on air.
 
 
I know I'm paranoid, but I also know that it's because of my various chemical imbalances.

So, I realize that I am out of line to believe that big business and big government are inextricably linked and corrupt to the core.

Government for the people? Civic responsibility in business?

Sure, read this shining example of such virtuous conduct.
 
 
My mixed emotions toward MTV's "Jackass" must signal my passage into adulthood.
 
Friday, May 09, 2003
 
During (Spinal) Tap's 1992 tour, Nigel took 50 guitar stands and 150 guitars on the road, including 28 acoustics and 35 Strats.
 
 
The Lakers, according to the LA Times:

As everyone knows, the problems didn't start two weeks ago when Rick Fox was hurt but last summer when O'Neal deferred his surgery and management deferred restocking the roster.
 
 
Sen. Bob Graham on the White House:

"There has not been in my memory, and I would question whether there has been in modern American history, an administration that was so committed to secrecy as this Bush administration."

The White House had no immediate comment.
 
 
Ciao, io sono Francesca

Se vuoi vedermi e parlare con me in videochat. Mi trovi ogni giorno dalle 13.00 alle 01.00.

Puoi vedermi e chattare con me anche se tu non hai una webcam
 
 
I'm not pulling the ticket, by any means, but last night I was struck by the epiphany that the Sept. 11 terror attacks were a one-off. All of a sudden, it developed in me that their might not be another shoe to drop. I mean, there will still be suicide attacks in countries you've never heard of -- or even shit here -- but I'm starting to think there might not be the slaughter of 100,000 people in a big city. Or even 10,000 in a large catastrophe.

I'm not trying for the jinx, but I think that Sept. 11 was an incredible event where the plan went even better than they could have expected, and no one really did much to disrupt their planning. Now, everyone is watching and trying to figure out their next move. I'm sure no intelligence agency wants to see more domestic casualties, but I am more certain that no one wants to see it on their watch.

And what could image could now inflict greater psychological damage on the American psyche than the collapsing World Trade Center?

The Golden Gate Bridge falling? Even the White House or Statue of Liberty? I doubt it. We've seen that in the movies.

We might have more attacks on our allies in Europe, but you know these guys won't be as happy blowing something up in Rome or London as they would in Chicago or Los Angeles.

And why am I always reading supposed quotes from al-Qaida members about how they have something big planned? It doesn't seem like their thing, calling their shot, and we all know about dogs that bark a lot.

Finally, I think that for all the assumed prowess of Bin Laden and his doctor adviser -- the men who 'think the unthinkable' -- the actual plans have to be carried out by determined but not necessarily bright men, and they, I think, are capable of letting the side down.

To reiterate, I'm not saying we're out of the woods, but it occurred to me that, for a while, we may have seen the worst.
 
 
Let’s do the Happy Hour either tomorrow evening or some evening next week (I forgot that I have my kids tonight). Two rounds of beverages and appetizers are on me.
 
Thursday, May 08, 2003
 
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO OSAMA?

IN THE WHITE HILLS
OF AFGHANISTAN

WAS THE LAST PLACE
THAT WE THOUGHT WE SAW OUR MAN

BUT HE PEACED OUT
BEFORE WE COULD ATTACK

SO WE CHANGED OUR MINDS
AND WENT AND HIT IRAQ

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO OSAMA?
WHERE DID HE GO?

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO OSAMA?
I DON'T KNOW
 
 
I still can't say enough about the hardest button to button.
 
 
It seems that as Drudge's influence increases, his political colors become more vivid, and I suspect that this may ultimately render the Drudge Report irrelevant. I liked reading the gossip better when its author wasn't such an ideologue.

Is it possible to receive information without its provider taking a side, or is that a peurile question?
 
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
 
``Don't worry about me. This is minor compared to what I usually go through.''

-- Joumana Kidd to authorities in Arizona when asked if she needed medical attention as a result of an attack by her husband on Jan. 18, 2001.
 
 
CATTLE DECAPITATION Split With Drummer, Announce Replacement - May 7, 2003

San Diego extreme metallers CATTLE DECAPITATION have parted ways with drummer David Astor due to his "inability to live up to the obligations of touring and regular necessities of the band." In his place, the group have recruited former CREATION IS CRUCIFIXION skinsman Michael Laughlin.

Laughlin's recording debut with the group will come in the form of a new track to be recorded at the end of the month for an upcoming Metal Blade compilation, entitled "Uncorrupted Steel 2". CATTLE DECAPITATION's next full-length CD, "Humanure", is tentatively due in the fall/winter.
 
 
John Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school. After 15 minutes speaking he says, "I will now answer any questions you have.

Bobby stands up and says: "Mr. Ashcroft I have 4 questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit civil liberties?
3. Why haven't you caught Osama Bin Laden?
4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?

Just then the bell rang and the kids rushed out to play. Upon returning Mr. Ashcroft said: "I'm sorry we were interrupted. I will answer any questions you have."

A little girl named Julie stands up and says: "I have 6 questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you invoking the American Patriot Act to limit civil liberties?
3. Why haven't you caught Osama Bin laden?
4. Where are the weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq?
5. Why did the bell ring 20 minutes early?
6. Where is Bobby?
 
 
Hi, Tony.

I remember when I first saw the headline TOWNSHEND SAYS NOT PEDOPHILE. I was, like, WTF and why do you need to come out and say that (then I read the article).
Anyway, his kiddie porn bizness caused me to revisit The Who catalog, and I found that I liked it even less than I thought.

Beyond "Can't Explain," I thought the music was a little too cheesy, and I was afriad Roger Daltrey was going to eat me -- or worse. I think I found it soulless.

Keep up the great work, my friends at work and I enjoy counting the different alcoholic beverages Karisa has in your essays.

Best,

Joe
 
 
The local paper with an interesting story about how terrorists may be using drug-smuggling tunnels along the U.S.-Mexico border to get bad guys and weapons into the United States.
 
 
A friend just gave me the new NOFX record "The War on Errorism."

I'll keep you posted.

Here's the word of the day, but I don't know if it relates to this album.

objurgate \OB-juhr-gayt\, transitive verb:
To express strong disapproval of; to criticize severely.


 
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
 
All Music Guide:

Bruce Springsteen had become increasingly downcast as a songwriter during his recording career, and his pessimism bottomed out with Nebraska.

But Born in the U.S.A., his popular triumph, which threw off seven Top Ten hits and became one of the best-selling albums of all time, trafficked in much the same struggle, albeit set to galloping rhythms and set off by chiming guitars.

That the witless wonders of the Reagan regime attempted to co-opt the title track as an election-year campaign song wasn't so surprising: the verses described the disenfranchisement of a lower-class Vietnam vet, and the chorus was intended to be angry, but it came off as anthemic.
 
 
It is true that Annie Lennox is rad, and always has been.
 
 
comestible \kuh-MES-tuh-buhl\, adjective:
Suitable to be eaten; edible.

noun:
Something suitable to be eaten; food.
 
Monday, May 05, 2003
 
METS SUCK, ANYWAY

Move Piazza to first base. Boy, have the Mets blown it with Piazza. They should have started playing him at first in 2000, after they signed Todd Zeile to replace John Olerud, the type of contact hitter they desperately need now. But their far bigger sin was trading for Vaughn before last season, effectively blocking Piazza's path to first through '04.

Piazza, 34, is in offensive decline. His poor throwing and awkward receiving are embarrassments. But he has shown little interest in playing a less physically demanding position, seemingly intent on breaking Carlton Fisk's record of 351 home runs by a catcher. He was 14 shy at the start of the week, and at this point, there's no stopping him. But soon after he passes Fisk, this lunacy must end.

Trade Piazza? The Orioles might be interested, but Piazza will gain the service time to veto any deal on May 22. He will make $14.5 million this season, $15 million next season and $15 million in '05 -- excessive salaries for a fading player in a depressed market.
 
 
"Blues had a Baby, and they called it Rock n Roll"
- Muddy Waters
 
 
Since I want to one day own a racehorse, I was just looking at an article about the topic in the USA Today from May 1. Inside the paper, though, I found a little article with the headline GAY-TOLERANT SOCIETIES PROSPER ECONOMICALLY. In the text, it was made clear that it pays -- literally -- to be friendly to your neighbors.

The following list was included:

Metro areas with the highest concentrations of gays:

1. San Francisco
2. Miami
3. Seattle
4. Atlanta
5. San Diego
6. Washington
7. Orlando
8. Los Angeles
9. Austin
10. Las Vegas
 
 
In the early '70s, Ted Nugent used to challenge fellow rock guitarists to on-stage "guitar duels," including bouts with Frank Marino and MC5's Wayne Kramer, to name a few.

 
 

Hola Amigos!

The Cinco de Mayo Fiesta will begin at 4 pm TODAY in the back parking lot.
Everyone is invited to enjoy some snacks and ice cold liquid refreshment (soft drinks and CERVEZA).

We'll be announcing the winners of the guacamole and salsa contests at 4:15 p.m.
(If you were a contestant, please bring your creation out a 4:00 so everyone can have a taste!)

See you there!
 
 
vitiate \VISH-ee-ayt\, transitive verb:
1. To make faulty or imperfect; to render defective; to
impair; as, "exaggeration vitiates a style of writing."
2. To corrupt morally; to debase.
3. To render ineffective; as, "fraud vitiates a contract."
 
 
WARREN BUFFETT ATTACKS TAX PLAN -- THE SAGE (OR ORACLE) OF OMAHA SPEAKS

Asked about President Bush's plan to eliminate the tax on companies' dividends, Buffett said it would unfairly benefit rich people like himself, at the expense of ordinary workers.

"He (Bush) is not changing the amount the American public sends the government," Buffett said, "just changing who does it."

The only way to cut taxes is to cut government spending, Buffett added.

Buffett, who plans to give away his more than $30 billion fortune after his death, campaigned several years ago against phasing out certain estate taxes, arguing that it would unfairly benefit rich families.
 
 
Last night's film was called "Following," from Christopher Nolan, the guy who directed "Memento" and "Insomnia."

I highly recommend it, and the IMDB messages seemed to indicate it was better than "Memento." It's a bit clever and twisty, but I didn't really fell all that manipulated. The acting is great, and the existential subtext is refreshing.
 
Sunday, May 04, 2003
 
I swear I've seen this movie.
 
 

daedal \DEE-duhl\, adjective:
1. Complex or ingenious in form or function; intricate.
2. Skillful; artistic; ingenious.
3. Rich; adorned with many things.
 
Saturday, May 03, 2003
 
My man's wife just had a baby, and she's a healthy 9 lbs., 2 oz.

World, please welcome the angel Isabella Eve Lovewell.
 
Friday, May 02, 2003
 
An e-mail:

Three thoughts after seeing Bush's Tom Cruise fighter pilot impression:

1. It's official - we are all now living a Jerry Bruckheimer movie.
2. "Flash! He'll save every one of us!"
3. I wonder if any veterans are hot about a former Texas Air National Guardsman morphing into Harry Bailey, war hero, without having fired a single shot on behalf of his peers in Vietnam.

This communication and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) named above and may contain confidential and legally privileged information.
Unauthorized use, disclosure or copying is prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately by replying to this communication and then deleting it from your system. Thank you.


 
 
METALLICA performed for over an hour at San Quentin State Prison on Thursday in front of an audience composed entirely of inmates and prison workers. The special concert was arranged with the help of the prison officials in exchange for METALLICA using the prison grounds the previous day to film the video for the title track to their upcoming album, "St. Anger".

The band's set list for the show was as follows:

01. Creeping Death
02. For Whom the Bell Tolls
03. Seek and Destroy
04. Fade To Black
05. Fuel
06. Sad But True
07. Master Of Puppets
08. One
09. Enter Sandman
10. Battery

Check out pictures taken during the gig at this location.
 
 
I am pretty confident this is the funniest thing I've ever read. I picked up the phone to tell someone about it, and I couldn't finish my first sentence I was laughing so hard.
 
Thursday, May 01, 2003
 
Though it has been our policy to relax our dress code on Fridays, we would ask that for tomorrow, everyone dress in “business casual.”

Also, as many of you are working on sensitive projects that have yet to be made public, we would also ask that you refrain from discussing those projects directly with our Stockholders or in a place where they may overhear your conversations.

Finally, please ensure that any documents, graphs, graphics pertaining to our ongoing projects are safely put away and not readily accessible.
 
 
Idi Amin is alive and living in Saudi Arabia.

I had no idea.
 
 
Julio Lugo's guaranteed salary from the Houston Astros this year is $1,575,000. That's about $30,000 a week. Fuck Julio Lugo.

Lugo charged with assault; wife treated for injuries

HOUSTON (AP) -- Houston Astros shortstop Julio Lugo was demoted Thursday, hours after he was arrested and charged with hitting his wife in the face and slamming her head on a car hood.

Lugo was arrested after Wednesday night's game at Minute Maid Park. Lugo was freed on $50,000 bond Thursday after spending the night in jail. Lugo's wife, Mabel, was treated for minor injuries at a hospital and released.
 
 
"The concept of a self-governing American republic has been crippled by this propaganda," MacArthur said. "The whole idea that we can govern ourselves and have an intelligent debate, free of cant, free of disinformation, I think it's dead."

White House spokesman Scott McClellan denied the existence of any administration propaganda campaign and predicted the American public would reject such notions as ridiculous.


Do you reject it as ridiculous?
 
 
The history of intellectual growth and discovery clearly demonstrates the need for unfettered freedom, the right to think the unthinkable, discuss the unmentionable, and challenge the unchallengeable. To curtail free expression strikes twice at intellectual freedom, for whoever deprives another of the right to state unpopular views necessarily also deprives others of the right to listen to those views.

-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., U.S. v. Schwimmer, 1928
 
 
simulacrum \sim-yuh-LAY-kruhm; -LAK-ruhm\, noun;
plural simulacra \sim-yuh-LAY-kruh; -LAK-ruh\:
1. An image; a representation.
2. An insubstantial, superficial, or vague likeness or
semblance.
 
 
This is Diamond Dave's new record label.

And Metallica did record their video at San Quentin. They are the ones in parkas, and the hellions are the ones without shirts.
 
Formerly GOD'S LONELY MAN

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