Upsetting
Thursday, January 23, 2003
 
To my German and French friends:

I don’t know what on earth you have ever done to contribute to the international scene – aside from some paintings and a few good books – and I admit that I have used both of your countries as punchlines.

However, I totally understand the outrage felt by your leaders at the remarks made by our Secretary of Offense, Donald Rumsfeld. I didn’t really understand what he was talking about – and that’s the idea, to confuse the common man – but I could tell his words were offensive to you.

So, I apologize, and I assure you that Rumsfeld, who estimates his worth between $62.1 million and $115.8 million, does not represent most Americans. But I’m sure you understand.

I mean, how can a guy with that much loot and power help but be arrogant?

Sincerely,

Your Average American.
 
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