Upsetting
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
 
I am so excited to go to war with Iraq because I know that I won’t have to move from my comfortable home with my woman and my friends. It’ll be so good for that evil regime to be changed and the world to be safe from that terrible Saddam Hussein. We should’ve got the bastard all those years ago, when the local radio stations started playing “Killing an Arab” by The Cure.

I disagree with people who say commercial radio is tasteless. Really, what’s wrong with the “Toys for Ta-Tas” fundraiser? I mean, the kids still get presents, so who cares about girls lifting up their shirts for donations?

The truly great thing about this upcoming war is that it can be fought at arm’s length. We like to strike with surgical precision, just blowing up bridges and munitions depots.
Civilians never get killed like they did when we dropped the A-bomb on Hiroshima and wiped out 200,000. We might not even have to send troops into Iraq, though we probably will to ensure stability for the government we choose to install. We can just launch our missiles from all the Aegis-class cruisers we have in the Gulf.

Another good thing about going to war is that it’s inevitable. Even if the hand-picked arms inspectors find nothing of any significance – and how will they after Iraq’s hidden all of its offensive items? – I am confident another justification for war will be found. That’s the good news. War is inevitable.

The country loves a president at war, so the war should likely last until the next elections.

I can’t wait.
I don't care that 83 percent of the Turkish population opposes the U.S. use of Turkey air bases to launch an attack against Iraq.

I just got a new Sony flat-screen TV with awesome speakers, so it should be fun to watch.
 
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