Upsetting
Friday, November 01, 2002
 
MACON, Ga. – We all know that the Devil went down to Georgia, looking for a soul to steal. We also have learned that he was in bind, he was way behind, and he was willing to make a deal. And, sure enough, on a hot day some time ago in the Peach State, he came across a young man sawing on a fiddle and playing it hot.
The Devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said:
“Boy, lemme tell you what.”

The boy, who was called Johnny, set down his fiddle to listen to what the Devil had to say. A bit surprised, a bit irritated by the interruption, Johnny eyed the figure before him dressed in an old Hawks T-shirt and a pair of faded jeans.
“I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m a fiddle player, too,” the Devil said, his arrow-tipped tail swishing excitedly beneath his dungarees. “And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet with you.”

And the Devil proceeded to challenge young Johnny to a fiddle-off. That is, if Johnny proved to be a better player than the Prince of Darkness, he would get a fiddle made of solid gold. However, if the Devil turned out to be more adept at the instrument, if his spiked fingers picked and bowed in a manner far superior than that of the upstart, he would leave with the young man’s soul.

Now, Johnny wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was no dim bulb either. He knew he had fiddle skills nonpareil, but he also knew that he probably shouldn’t throw his soul on the table like a greaser drag-racing for a pink slip.
He also thought the Devil might want something a little more than his soul.
He suspected the old bastard might want in his pants.

A question arises, though, perhaps more perplexing than that young Johnny faced.
Why the, er, hell was the Devil in a bind, and why was he way behind? Why was he willing to make such a seemingly one-sided deal?

The Devil, of all people, in a bind.
I don't buy it.
 
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