Billets-doux to my 2002 Fantasy Baseball World Series champions
OF – Vladimir Guerrero, Montreal Expos
– Rolen may have been my favorite player for all the bullshit he went through with that useless manager Larry Bowa in Philadelphia, but you, I am proud to announce, are the Most Valuable Player of the AHOLES.
I don’t even know what your numbers were – I know they were monstrous – but I know that you could hit two home runs or steal three bases at any given time, regardless of score or situation. You fell to me at the fifth overall pick, and given the chance, I would’ve drafted you higher.
Your enthusiasm for the game and unnatural talent are a pleasure to watch – even though I never get to see you play because you are on the Expos. It was wonderful to know that if the Expos scored runs, you or Jose Vidro were likely involved.