Upsetting
Tuesday, September 24, 2002
 
Maybe if I had a kid I’d wear a telephone on my waist like so many people I see do. Parenthood might be the threshold where I would consider such a thing.
But not any time soon.
I may be insecure or out of place in the world, but when I see these guys with the telephones attached to their waists, I think only one thing:
Tool.

My credo is Do Your Thing. I think it’s healthy, and I think people should be who they are (at no one else’s expense, of course). You want to spray your hair and drive a convertible, by all means Do Your Thing. You want to listen to terrible music at full volume when you drive by, Do Your Thing. I don’t mind, because I know you’re a temporary presence in my life – and you are Doing Your Thing.

Some folks like to express themselves via their attire and possessions and music they listen to.
Some like the vehicle they drive to be their signifier.
A lot of people drive sport utility vehicles, and I am not one of them. Ramona thinks I’m crazy or a rapist when I tell her that I’d drive an old-school Econoline van before an SUV.
They’re just not me. They may be someone else, and that’s how those people Do Their Things, I guess. Maybe I’m reading too much into the type of vehicle someone drives representing what type of person they are.

I found this book about SUVs, which the reviewer described as polemical. In it, the author, a New York Times reporter, writes this of SUV owners:

They tend to be people who are insecure and vain. They are frequently nervous about their marriages and uncomfortable about parenthood. They often lack confidence in their driving skills. Above all, they are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in their neighbors or communities.

Now, I haven’t read the book and I don’t know the reporter’s research methods, but apparently there are other people out there who don’t hold SUVs and their owners in the highest regard.
 
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