Billets-doux to my 2002 Fantasy Baseball World Series champions
Today was the last day of the 2002 Fantasy Baseball season, and my team won the World Series, luckily edging out the more-superior squad run by my brother Bill. To acknowledge the men who got me where I am today, I thought it appropriate to drop praise on each member of my squad.
C – Mike Piazza, New York Mets
– Mike, I acquired you in a midseason trade because I thought there was no way you’d just middle on through the year – and because I saw a photo of you backstage with Slayer. You didn’t scuff along, I must admit, but the fact that you only played about three games a week will certainly cause me to steer clear of you in the future.
However, you did a hit a home run on the last day of the season – when Bill and I were neck and neck – and that 2-run shot not only scored points for you, but it helped ensure a victory for my pitcher Steve Trachsel.
So, tonight we drink Citrona.
1B – Jason Giambi, New York Yankees
– The other teams in my league did everything they could to block my acquisition when I traded Frank Thomas and Mike Lieberthal for you in the second week of the season. Yet, the trade went through and you were a champ.
Your numbers were consistently spectacular, and I thank you, too, for homering on the last day of the season. As you, yourself, like to say:
Rake Like an All-Star, Party Like a Rock Star & Hammer Like a Porn Star